3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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