he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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