last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
