Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I am one with the molecules
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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