I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
