I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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