he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
