talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
