Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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