Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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