im gay
i know
yea but for you.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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