do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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