I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
