I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
