I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
And the cops told us we were all naked.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize