White coat. Heels.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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