this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
