He asked to "fluff my boner.."
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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