He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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