omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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