I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
