so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
