Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
