Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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