They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
