I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
