sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
