For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
