Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize