I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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