I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
