Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
