I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
