just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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