So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
smell my finger.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
