Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize