people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
