Well douche your snatch and let's go!
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
