3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
you win again, gameday.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
