First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
