Me too!
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
