i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
