Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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