just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
