Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
