I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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