i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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