We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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