2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
