Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
