even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
