How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
