Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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