she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
