I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
