Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
