Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
