I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
